Who knew that sad could be so adorable?

Bonus pic... Kayla and my grandmother. how sweet is that?

It's official

Cold season is already in full swing, and it's hit our house. I thought being sick when I was pregnant was bad - this is even worse, since now I can (and have) actually pass it on to the little one. Kayla is taking it pretty well. We kept her home from daycare today in order to help avoid spreading it, but I think she'll be ok to go back tomorrow. She was smiling and happy when I went home for lunch, once she woke up from her swing nap. Hopefully she'll sleep well again tonight and will be breathing easier tomorrow.

Nice reminder that I need to call the doctor's office about getting my flu shots huh? For the first time ever, I am going to actually get a seasonal flu shot. I'm also planning to get the H1N1 shot when it becomes available. Not my idea of fun, and I'm REALLY hoping it doesn't backfire and make me sick. I will not be happy.

Other than that, not much is happening at our casa these days. We're just spending lots of time together as a family whenever we aren't at work, and enjoying watching her grow. I haven't taken many new pictures lately, but I will update the photobucket again soon! She smiles a lot now and is really close to laughing out loud. Sunday morning I was brushing my teeth when I heard her let out a loud shriek from our bed. Shaun was playing with her and apparently had her really close to laughing. I love every sound she makes, even when she's crying. Yesterday she had several fits over the course of the day (probably because she wasn't feeling well) and for the first time, I realized I wasn't upset or stressed out when she cried. I was just happy I was there; happy to be the one holding her and trying to comfort her. I'm sure the solid nights of sleep I have been getting help, but I also like to think that I'm really settling into this mommy role. It still breaks my heart that I can't be with her all the time, but I love the moments we do have together that much more. This little girl has changed my life in every conceivable way, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Another milestone this weekend

I'm happy to announce that on Saturday night, my little angel slept from 10 pm until 6 am! Our first 8-hour night! She didn't even stir when I had to take her out of her crib at 11:30. What a trooper. (Of course, she didn't nap much while we hung out with our friends this weekend, so I think that's why she slept so well.)

Today starts the 3rd week back at work... I was a mess leaving her at daycare this morning; it seems the weekend set me back a bit. Hopefully it will get better again even though I don't think I'll ever really be used to it. I still miss her every second we're not together, so much that it almost hurts. I hope I can get my new project at work under way soon so I don't have as much time to sit here and think about all the time I'm missing with her. Man this sucks...

Happy Two Months!

Dear Kayla,

I promised myself that this was something I was going to do for you every month, but somehow

your one month got by me. For that I apologize.

I can hardly believe you are two months old today. You are such an amazing little creature, and every day I look at you with wonder and awe. You've been sleeping well for being so young yet, only waking once a night to be fed. I know it seems silly, but I really appreciate that. You are so beautiful; you smile a lot now and it's just the sweetest thing. Today was the first time I was able to catch your smile on camera... the picture above. You also try to laugh - you open your mouth really wide and sometimes a gurgle or a loud "ah!" escapes, but you haven't quite figured out how to make a laughing sound yet. It cracks me up every single time. You are definitely vocal though, cooing and "talking" to your light up sun on your play mat, and if I'm lucky, occasionally to me as well.

In the last week or so, you've really discovered your hands. For the last few days they have been in your mouth almost non stop. Last night you stared at your fists, not quite sure where they came from, and even sucked your thumb for the first time. I don't know if it will stick though - you still prefer your Soothie for comfort sucking.

Tummy time is still a little bit of a challenge. You seem to enjoy the new view for the first few minutes but quickly grow weary of not being able to see the world as you're used to it. The new Boppy tummy time mat seems to help that some, but it extends our floor time to maybe 10 minutes at a shot rather than 5 or less. I enjoy watching you lift your head for brief periods and smile at me. I love seeing your happy little face no matter what.

Last week brought the challenge of me returning to work. Although you and daddy did just fine without me, I had a really difficult time walking out the door that first morning. I went to take you from your crib to the bed so you were closer to daddy, and you were happily playing in your crib by yourself until you looked up and saw me. You got the saddest look on your face and let out a little cry. It nearly brought me to my knees right there. I missed you more than I could ever express. I'm afraid that dropping you off at daycare for the first time tomorrow is going to be even harder.

You had your two month doctor appointment last week; you weighed in at 11 lbs 4 oz and are now 22 1/2 inches long. You've grown so much. Daddy says you took your shots pretty well too. You were so unhappy when I came home and I felt terrible for you. I know it's to keep you healthy though, and I'm just glad I wasn't there to hear you cry when you got them.

So much has happened and changed in just a few short weeks, and I can only begin to imagine the changes that are to come on the coming days, weeks, months and years. I do know that I look forward to seeing you continue to grow and develop and to be the sweet little lady I know you're going to be. I love you so much Kayla Anne and I always will.

Love,

Mommy

8 weeks!?!?!

Yeah, I'm a slacker. Sorry to the 3 of you who read this. :-) We've been so busy I've hardly given blogging a thought. I was also totally determined and committed to spending every possible moment with my little sweetheart before coming back to work, so sitting down at the computer usually meant running our numbers in Quicken, maybe entering some Pampers points in their website, and getting back to being a mom.

Kayla is an absolute joy of a baby. I know every parent says this, but she really is. Besides her normal bouts of bedtime fussiness, she is generally a very happy baby. She smiles all the time now and it just melts me every time. We love to go for walks in the evening now that it’s cooler out. Kayla seems to enjoy the time in her stroller, even if she does just spend most of it staring at the little pink snail toy hanging from the handle of her carrier (thanks Laura, she really loves that thing!).

My 6-week postpartum appointment went well. I am feeling really good and starting to think I look more like myself again. Even though I have a bit more weight to lose, I can deal with it now. Kayla’s next doctor appointment is on Friday, so I will have updated stats on her then. She was over 9 pounds the last time she was weighed, and I’m thinking she’s well over 10 now. I can’t wait to hear how much she’s grown!

Leaving her to go to work this morning was extraordinarily tough. This is the first time in months and months that I’ve been away from her for this long, and it’s killing me. I’ve spent the better part of my day fighting back the tears, especially when someone wants to hear about her, or asks me how I’m dealing with my return. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but I never thought it was going to be this hard. Somehow though, we'll make it. Hopefully I'm somewhat used to it by next Tuesday so dropping her off at daycare for the first time won't be so hard.