Happy Turkey Day!

Before we get caught up in the flurry of family visits, turkey and stuffing, being surrounded by those who know us best and love us anyway... happy Thanksgiving from our family to yours.  Wishing you the best and to be surrounded by those things that your are most thankful for.  I know I will be. 

Poor sweetheart

Kayla came home from daycare today and the first thing I noticed was her eye...

(Incidentally, does anyone else find that the bathtub is the easiest place to photograph their toddler?  I feel like I have an inordinate number of bathtub pics, but it's about the only place where she's contained and will sit and look right at me for more than 3 seconds.)

The incident report said that she was accidentally scratched by one of her friends.  Honestly, I can't believe she didn't do it to herself... I'm still a little edgy about trimming her nails thanks to being reminded that I hurt her one time.  

Quickie Update

It's been a crazy whirlwind of a fall so far here in our house.  We started by decorating our porch:

Then we went to the pumpkin patch:

Then it snowed and we stayed in our jammies and snuggled.

Then we went trick-or-treating.

I've been so busy with work, school, home and family... looking forward to my semester ending (just 4 more weeks!) and getting a little bit of a break.  More on that later though.  For now, the laptop battery is about to kick so I'm going to call it a night.  Promise to be back soon this time!  I have recipes stored up for posting and I'm going to attempt a 30 day photo challenge while in between semesters, so hopefully all 3 of the blogs will get a little sprucing up next month!

Been Busy...

I've been meaning to blog about our trip to the pumpkin patch and the rest of our fall/Halloween plans, but haven't had the time.  I promise, I'll be back soon.  I just need to recover and catch up on all of my school work first...

Friday Confession

I've been brooding this week.  A lot. 

Kayla was very excited to see me when she got home from the Manheim Farm Show Tuesday night.  She had news.  Not only did she actually smile for school picture day, she went potty for the first time at school that day.  Awesomesauce, right?

My initial reaction was joy.  I hugged and kissed and told her how proud I am of her.  And as I was squeezing her for the 37th time, it hit me like a ton of bricks. 

I missed it. 

My kid used the potty for the first time, and I wasn't there.  Someone else got to tell her what a great job she did before I could.  I wasn't even there to find out when she got picked up from school.  Grandma knew before I did. 

Working mom's guilt is such a bitch.  And a fickle one at that.  In my head I know that I'm just not cut out to be a SAHM.  I'm ready to go back to work and have interactions with grown ups again after just a week at home with her.  But in my heart of hearts, I wish that I could be one. 

I shouldn't be too sad.  She's 27 months old today, has been in daycare for 25 of those months and this is the first milestone I've missed.  I was with her when she crawled for the first time.  I was right behind her when she took her first solo steps.  I discovered her first tooth.  I was there when she said her first word. 

So why does this bother me so much?  There's no shortage of firsts to come - but now I have to wonder how many more of those will work keep me from witnessing?  Seems kind of unfair.  But then again, life isn't fair, is it? 

Where do they learn to break your heart so early?

The other night Kayla and I were going through her bath time routine.  When I finished putting lotion and a fresh diaper on her, I decided to stop procrastinating and grabbed the nail clippers.  I asked her to sit down and be still so I could trim her finger and toe nails. 

“Don’t snap me and hurt me again mommy,” she said to me. 

Shocked and worried I said “who hurt you sweetheart?”

“You did.  You snapped my finger and I needed a Band Aid because there was blood and it hurt.”

Oh.My.God. 

My child doesn’t remember the dozens of harmless nail trimmings we’ve had, but she remembers the one where I trimmed one nail a little too close and drew the tiniest bit of blood.  Of course, she doesn’t remember the one when she was a tiny infant and I did the same… but I do.  At least now I know what she means when she refers to having her fingers “snapped.”

 *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Last night we were hanging out while Shaun went running and as she bounced on the couch, she turned and looked at me and declared “I need a present.”  When I asked her what she was talking about, she said “it’s my birthday, I need a present!”  Obviously it’s totally useless to remind a two year old that her birthday was nearly 3 months ago and even if it was her birthday, she certainly didn’t need a present.  So I got a roll of Smarties out of the cabinet and told her that it was a special treat, even though it wasn’t her birthday.  The resulting face grab and kisses were totally worth the “I can’t believe I’m giving her more junk food” guilt. 

 *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The ups and downs still never cease to amaze me.  She can have my blood pressure sky-high one second and have me on the floor in a fit of giggles the next.  This morning I was rushing to get her eating breakfast so I could run back upstairs to dry my hair and as I spun into the pantry to grab her a plate, I hear her say “hey, are you ok in there?”

This kid cracks me up.  She knows just how to push my buttons already.  I’m in for a long ride.

Gretna Weekend

Last weekend we had a great time with great friends.  Mount Gretna is a hard place to describe; it's almost like something out of a story - where quaint cottages with names like "As You Wish" and "Serendipity" are haphazardly nestled close together under a canopy of trees. 

After enjoying lunch at the Hideaway, we tucked in on the super huge porch of our rented cottage and listened to music while watching the rain.  Even though she barely  napped, Kayla was an absolute delight, making fast friends. 

We ate way too much and certainly drank our share, but it was a wonderful time.  I'd go back to sitting on that porch and listening to the rain in a heartbeat given the opportunity.  Hoping we get to do that soon!

Is weekend yet?

My hair dryer shit the bed finally gave up the ghost this morning.  I guess I can’t complain – I’ve had that thing since at least college, if not high school, which makes it approximately… ancient.  So I’m sitting at my desk, hair in a ponytail still foggy from lack of caffeine.  It’s foggy outside too – hoping that grey skies and rain don’t ruin our weekend. 

 

But my school work is done, we have plans for good times with good friends, Kayla will be with her grandparents Saturday into Sunday…

 

And right now my husband is out purchasing a new hair dryer for me.  Heaven help us all. 

Still waiting on that MOTY award

And from the looks of it, the wait will be long. 

The lovely mark on her forehead?  Obtained out walking with mommy and daddy earlier this week.  I was singing a song to get her to hurry up a little because it was getting dark; I had a hold of her hand, but she tripped and I couldn't grab hard enough fast enough so down she went.  Do you know what it sounds like when a little one's head hits the sidewalk?  I do.  It's awful. 

Thankfully she seems no worse for wear, as evidenced above.  I am still bothered by it, but she clearly is not.  Unless a side effect of a head injury is suddenly asking "why?" to everything.  Today when I picked her up from school, I put her in the car and our conversation went something like this:

Me:  Did you have a good day today?

Her:  Uh-huh!

Me:  Good!  Let's go home and watch Gabba...

Her:  YAY!

Me:  Then after nap time we're going to go to the grocery store.

Her:  Why?

Me:  Because we need food.

Her:  Why?

Me:  Because we have to eat, silly!

Her:  Why?

Me:  Because you get grumpy when you're hungry.

Her:  Why?

Me:  Because I get grumpy when I'm hungry too.

Her:  Why? 

Me:  Oh look, we're home!

Her:  Why? 

I know every kid goes through this.  Somehow though, I wasn't expecting it until she was a bit older.  I guess I can just hope that we're getting it over and done with early... and also hope that this little phase doesn't rear its ugly head again later on. 

I haven't forgotten

I wanted to write something yesterday, but the words wouldn’t come.  It felt trite.  Ten years is such an arbitrary line in time – why would this particular anniversary be more poignant than the previous 9?  But it was.  Maybe because of the media frenzy; everyone and their brother had something about 9/11 on TV.  Maybe because for the first time in 10 years, I actually sat and watched the video rather than changing channels. 

I remember 9/11/2001 pretty clearly.  It was a beautiful fall day.  I remember sitting in my friend Matt’s dorm room with he and his roommate; watching the coverage, holding hands and feeling a spectrum of emotions.  Anger.  Fear.  Sadness.  Confusion.  It’s amazing how an event like that can cause such a seismic shift to a 19 year old.  I remember the agonizing 2-3 days afterwards, waiting anxiously for word from my friend Ashley who was attending NYU at that time.  I remember standing outside of my dorm with friends and none of us being able to talk about anything else for days. 

I hope that someday I will be able to share my memories of that day with Kayla, and I can help her understand how it changed our world.  It’s a hard thing for me to reconcile sometimes… I just hope I’m able when the time comes.