Am I weird? or Ack! My first "am I a bad mom?" crisis.

So lately a topic of conversation I've noticed a lot between new moms/upcoming moms to be is the question of how soon is too soon to have baby out in a crowd, or at what point it's ok to allow "other people" to hold her. All of a sudden I feel as though I've done Kayla a disservice by not considering this question. I know that our first few days, maybe even a week or two will be spent largely at home sleeping, nursing, and just getting to know each other. That's totally understandable. But two weeks after my due date, we are slated to attend my cousin Catherine's wedding. It never occurred to me that maybe that was too soon to have her around such a large gathering of people.

Obviously if she would be born more than a few days beyond her due date, I may not be feeling up to attending the wedding after all... and I am not going to push things beyond what I feel like I am capable of doing. Obviously I will do my best to make the ceremony either way, but if the reception seems like too much, we may just go home. But that is me. What about her? Logically, I feel like she will most likely snooze through most of the occasion, if not the entire thing. Is it so crazy to think that it's not that big of a deal to take her?

In any case, we hit the 36 week mark on Saturday. Wow. I can't believe there's less than a month to go. My awesome mom came out to visit me Saturday afternoon and brought the baby monitor that she bought for us. So handy! Thanks to Shaun I know that the receiver unit works great, as does the paging feature. Thanks mom, we love it! We also got to meet my sister in law's new chocolate lab puppy on Saturday afternoon. She's just too adorable! My sister came out to visit after that - it was a busy Saturday for me. Poor Shaun spent a lot of it at work, and then napping since he was up at 4 am.

My next midwife appointment is tonight, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hoping for some surprising news to come out of that. I'm not hopeful, being as Kayla is still riding high enough to stick her little toes in my ribs. I have been feeling some contractions though, a few more painful than others. At least that helps make it seem as though something is happening while I'm just sitting here going crazy.

I'll update again after tonight's appointment; cross your fingers for no blood pressure scares this time! I'm not too worried, since as Tiffany pointed out last week, I still have ankle bones, and my feet look normal, so I must be doing something right!

36W 2D

Appointment update 6/8 edition

Last night's midwife appointment was pretty much a non-event. We had a small BP scare (the machine in the nurse's pod measured it at 144/94. She retook it on the other arm and it was worse!) but when she took it manually, it was 100/74. Totally normal. I don't know what sent her machine into a spasm, but at least my urine was clear so we knew immediately there was little reason to panic.

I saw Tiffany again this week. She measured me (didn't give the measurement) and checked little girl's heart beat. I think my scare got to her because her pulse was back up around 145 for the first time in a while! After that she did the Group B Strep swabs and that was pretty much it. My weight seems to be OK (up another 2 pounds) and we're just trucking on towards delivery. Next week they should start checking for dialation/effacement. Here's hoping there's a little something happening, that would help explain the sudden bouts of nausea.

Still counting down, only 32 days left...

PS - our laptop is still at Matt's house, so I'm updating this from work... and I can't get to my photobucket album from here to post the pic of Kayla's wall. Hopefully by next update!

*giggles*

OK, I just looked up at my ticker and noticed that is says "I am getting fatter and fatter." I know they mean Kayla is getting fatter and fatter (putting on anywhere from 1/2 to 3/4 of a pound each week) but it feels like they mean me. At this point, I'm not so bothered by it any more. It's sort of funny. In fact, if she wants to stop growing, that'd be cool. Ever since last week she has had one foot pressed pretty consistently against my ribs on my right side, and it hurts a little bit when she moves now. I'll take it though; as I've said all along, I would much prefer she be active so I know she's OK.

Saturday marked my 35/35. 35 weeks down and 35 days to go. Hard to believe, huh? I went to my lovely cousin Catherine's bridal shower on Saturday, and got to say hello to quite a few people I hadn't seen in some time. It was really really nice. I'm so looking forward to the wedding itself, I know Cath is going to be the most unbelievably gorgeous bride! Provided Kayla comes on time, that will also be her first big outing. I am nervous about going anywhere with a newborn, but I'm sure she will be fine.

Sunday we did our usual stuff around the house and then went to my sister in law's house for our oldest nephew's birthday. Watching Shaun play with the kids (ranging in age from 3 to 11) was a lot of fun - as it always has been - but more so now that we're looking forward to having one of our own.

I think the nursery is just about done and ready to go; I got Kayla's name put on the wall last week. It looks great except the K went a bit awry on me, so I'm going to have to look at that. I will post a picture when I update again. I want to get some pictures or something for the wall above the crib and to put on her shelf. I know for sure I'm going to order one of the shots from my maternity session for that purpose, but I'm still looking for other ideas since the prints I really liked at Ikea were $70 each and a bit steep for a baby's room. All of her sheets, blankets, clothes and whatnot are all washed and put away. I have all the little supplies we need to get us through the first few days; we still have to pack Shaun's diaper bag and get the hospital bag stuff together, but we are pretty much ready to go any time now. Here's hoping that the weeks continue to fly by...

35W 2D

So much accomplished...

Another busy yet productive weekend at our casa. First, let me brag about this:

That, my friends, is the top two shelves of my freezer, stocked with food we made on Saturday to get us through the first few weeks after Kayla's arrival. Not pictured are two trays of lasagna sitting on a lower shelf. How awesome is that? We finally cooked the turkey that we got free at Thanksgiving, and I made a few recipes from the "Once A Month Cooking" cookbook I bought. I also discovered a pork roast in the freezer that we're now thawing to make pulled pork either later this week or next weekend. That's exciting.

Also a brag on my part, Shaun put a lot of time and effort this weekend into hanging the new shelf we bought for Kayla's room so we could hang the diaper stacker above the changing table. Thanks honey! Now all we (I) have to do is hang the letters for her name on the blank wall, and her nursery is basically complete.

Following all that excitement, Sunday was my maternity photo shoot with Heather Johnson. She got a lot of really great shots, I can't wait to look over all of them again! She did some great traditional portrait-type stuff, and some really sexy shots as well. It's amazing how I can totally feel awful about myself some days, but then take a look at a picture and see the really beautiful side of pregnancy. I'm so appreciative of being able to have that captured for me to remember.

Other than that, there isn't a whole lot new to report. Crazy spaz child is moving almost constantly still, and I'm finding that I am able to breathe a little easier these days. It seems she is starting to drop and get into position for delivery. I'm hoping I can take that as a sign that things are moving along and we're progressing towards her arrival!

34W 2D

40 days to go!

Appointment Update

Here's the run-down: my BP is sitting steady in the 120/80 range (a little high for me, but normal overall) and I gained another 4 pounds. The midwife didn't seem concerned, so neither am I. (Personally, I still think the initial midwife who told me I was putting on too much was FOS. But what do I know, other than I hate constantly feeling like I'm starving?) Kayla is still head down, lying a little diagonally right now. Her heartbeat was in the 130's, which is great. Jana didn't give me my fundal height measurement, but I'm assuming it's right around 33 - 34 cm, otherwise she'd probably have said something.

I am feeling a "normal" number of braxton hicks contractions, although sometimes it's hard for me to distinguish when I'm actually feeling my uterus tighten or if things just feel tight because Kayla has wormed herself into a position that's uncomfortable for me. I'm leaning towards the latter since in the last day or two she seems to have found a new affinity for pushing her little feet against my ribs on my right side. I can not wait until this child drops in a few more weeks. I barely remember what it's like to take a flight of stairs without getting all out of breath!

So it seems that things are progressing normally; my next appointment on 6/8 will include the swab test for Group B Strep... yippee! SO not looking forward to that one. But from then on out my appointments will be weekly as the big day gets closer and closer.

Holy crap. Only 44 days till my due date. Wow.

33W 5D

Seriously, I'm done now...

After another busy holiday weekend, I am totally shot. My back kills. I'm nauseated all over again. I barely slept last night and I feel like I was hit by a truck. (Those are just the things I'd share with anyone... there's more I won't get into.) I try to smile and tell myself that there are only 6 1/2 weeks to go now. I try to remind myself of how long and hard we fought for this. I keep repeating that old "it will all be worth it" mantra. And I know it's all true. But it's hard to remember sometimes.

The stupidest things are starting to get to me. I want my body back; not just from the horrific weight gain either. I wanted a Corona in the worst way this weekend. It was so hot out and it would have been so refreshing... *sigh* Just a second ago I was sitting here and discovered a hole in the elbow of my sweater. For a brief moment, I thought that was going to cause an epic meltdown. Not only is that embarassing, but I've had this sweater forever and I love it. I don't know if it can be saved. I'm certainly going to try though.

I know this is what I signed up for (giving up my vices, mood swings, the aches and pains, weight gain and discomfort). I know it's temporary. I even feel guilty complaining knowing how many women out there would give anything to feel like this for the reasons I do. But seriously, can we just fast forward now?

33W 3D

Another Crazy Busy Weekend

Wow. What a weekend. I feel like we ran absolutely non-stop the whole time; probably because we did. Friday night we went to Babies R Us to pick up some of the things we wanted to purchase from our registry. There were a couple of items they didn’t have in the store (has anyone else had trouble finding a Moby or Aden and Anais muslin swaddler wraps? I did locate them after all, but was surprised at how difficult they were to find) so we decided to keep trying different places. After a quick trip into Motherhood (what a waste of time…) we went to the Ephrata Wal Mart, then we cruised through Downtown Lancaster to find BellaBoo had already closed for the night. So I decided to head out to Burlington for a look. I ended up purchasing an inexpensive reversible sling carrier at Burlington that seems pretty versatile. It’s so hard to spend money on these things now, having no idea how Kayla is going to like to be carried, but this one can be used to sling carry an infant in the front, or to hip/back carry a larger baby or toddler in the future. After we got home, tested out the high chair and did a load of baby laundry, I was exhausted.

Saturday morning brought much more of the same. We got up and had breakfast at Starbuck’s, then did some more shopping to kill time before we had to be at Women and Babies for our class. We finally stopped into two little shops here in Lititz; I am probably going to go back to Spoiled Silly and look around some more soon. Then we went to Barnes and Nobel where we bought some of the classic stories to read to Kayla, plus a set of learning books for infants called the Begin Smart series. After that we drove back into Lancaster to check out BellaBoo. What a cool store. I finally found my Moby and muslin swaddlers here, but ended up not purchasing either one. Go figure. I do anticipate going back for the swaddlers after all since amazingly enough, I can’t seem to find a better price online.

After grabbing a bite for lunch, we got to Women and Babies for day one of birthing class. That was eye-opening. Although a lot of the information given to us wasn’t totally new to me (I am a researcher by nature) there were some things that surprised me. All of a sudden I find myself wondering about some of the points in my birth philosophy that I was pretty certain about before, especially in regards to pain management and pain relief. It seems I have more than I thought to think about in the next few weeks. We also signed up to take part in a Penn State led study on new moms and their babies. I’ll have to speak with someone over the phone prior to delivery, about a month after delivery, and then every 6 months until Kayla is 3 years old. Seems simple enough, and we get a gift card for every phone interview we complete.

Sunday was pretty much a repeat; we met Shaun’s mom at Babies R Us before lunch; she purchased our pack and play for us (THANK YOU!!) and thankfully it worked out that we could all go together so Shaun was there to do the heavy lifting. After lunch and a Home Depot stop, it was time for day two of class. Thankfully this one wasn’t quite as intense, although I did find myself getting a little bit anxious during discussions of c-sections and episiotomies. The tour of labor and delivery was very cool; I have visited friends who’ve had babies there, but that was my first glimpse of an actual delivery room.
I know I have no way of knowing what actually lays ahead of me in all of this, but I’m hopeful that it’s going to be manageable.

Following all of that excitement, it was nice to lay around a bit last night. It’s incredible now to sit or lay on the couch and watch the little waves of movement go across my belly. I am sometimes able to identify a knee here or a foot there, but I’m still never really sure. She moves tons though, which is awesome. I absolutely adore it, even when I get a foot in the ribs or a seemingly never ending case of the hiccups. It’s always reassuring to feel something, just so I know she’s OK.

So here we are now with less than 8 weeks remaining until my due date. It literally seems like yesterday that we were at my confirmation appointment and there were still 8 months to go, yet so much has changed since then. Wow. As terrified as I am at moments, I am still so ready for her to be here and to hold her for the first time. I just hope she can feel how much her mommy already loves her.

32W 2D

Appointment Update

I went in for my CNS apppointment tonight, but the nurse specialist had an emergency so I got to see a midwife instead. It was actually quite a relief for me since Kayla had a night of little movement last week and I was concerned.

My blood pressure is still normal, and I only gained a pound or so since my last appointment. Kayla's little heart is beating away at 140 BPM and she is still head down. My fundal height measurement was right on at 31 centimeters.

It seems that all is well and I'm good to go for two more weeks!

I've updated the photobucket account with lots of pics from the shower and the nursery with all the great stuff in it! Clicky for Pictures!

31W 2 D

31 weeks, Baby shower and Mother's day...

I must preface this entry by saying that I'm sorry that the dates don't seem to match up in some places. I started an entry Sunday night, but didn't publish it. I wrote the bulk of it on Monday, but it published with Sunday's date since that's when it was started. I tried to fix it but only made things worse. Meh.

I can't even begin to describe how lucky I feel to have so many wonderful friends and family surrounding me in everything that I do. The lovely ladies in my life (including my sister, my mom, my step mom and her mom) and my dad... I can't leave him out... all worked so hard to throw Shaun and I a really beautiful baby shower this weekend. It was a gorgeous day and I had so many wonderful people to share it with. Thanks to everyone who joined us and for all the thoughtful gifts for our sweet angel. We now have the travel system we need to take Kayla visiting, her bouncer to keep her occupied when we need both hands for a second (when paired with the swaddler this comes with it actually looks quite cozy, although I've taken to referring to it as the "baby prison"), her bumbo seat to help her sit up, the boppy pillow for those late night feedings and MANY other wonderful and helpful things that I can't wait to use. I am feeling a little less anxious about being ready to bring her home. My hospital bag may not be packed yet, but the car seat bases are installed and aligned in both cars. Now to spend time strapping a stuffed animal into the seat so we're sure we can manage that. I swear you need an engineering degree to properly operate some of these items!

Here are a few pictures from the event (thanks Jenelle!):

(I am not in pain - I am astounded... my grandmother made this amazing quilt for Kayla. The amount of love for this little girl is just incredible.)

The absolutely delicious cake. I am so looking forward to another piece of this when I get home from my appointment tonight.

PS - I am working diligently to update the Photobucket account with pictures from the shower and the newly organized nursery as I get them from our friends and family/actually get organized. Check back often to see what appears!

We had a nice mother's day, even though we gave our moms their gifts at the shower. Gabriel, Beamer, Tinsel and Kayla (AKA Shaun) got me a really sweet card and another Willow Tree figurine. This time it was Angel of Mine. We spent the morning sorting, unboxing, assembling, washing and organizing all the shower gifts. Once that was done, we went out for lunch and then to WalMart to pick up some more of the basic items I was itching to buy. We got some newborn size onesies for her, some plain white onesies in 0 - 3 and 3 - 6 month sizes, some socks, bibs and burp cloths. I now feel like we're a lot more prepared. We still need a few things, but we're getting there. I'm really looking forward to our trip to Babies R Us next weekend before our birthing class.

I have an appointment with a CNS tomorrow, so I think that will be just an informational/sit and chat kind of appointment; it may or may not be update worthy. I need to take my birth plan and my FMLA paperwork with me so I can figure out what I'm doing in those areas. Perhaps they'll be able to squeeze me in with a midwife for a quick heartbeat/measurement check. I am pretty sure all is well, but I've been extra vigilant since Kayla had a quiet night last Thursday. I don't need any more of those thank you very much. I'm already in total "Mom mode" worrying myself half sick about her all the time.

In any case, things are really starting to get exciting now... we have our birthing class next Saturday and Sunday, then it's Memorial Day weekend already. Under 9 weeks to go now - 2 months till my due date!

31W 1D

Back from the Beach!!

Well, we are home from the beach, all in one piece and only a little worse for wear. The weather wasn't stellar, but did cooperate at moments. We had our Grotto Pizza, Hawiian Ice from Love's Lemonade, soft serve from Dumsers and cinnamon roasted almonds from the Nut House. I love beach food!! (Who am I kidding? I love food.) As it would turn out, this is a great time of year to be down at the beach. It's not insanely crowded, but most of the things we wanted to see or do were open over the weekend. I didn't actually put my toes in the sand, but we had a great ocean front room so we could open up and get the sea breeze. I am looking forward to sleeping in my own bed tonight though, and without elephants stomping around in the room above me.

So here we are now, just past the 30 week mark. Hard to believe that the little lettuce head is now anywhere from 8 - 12 weeks from making her appearance (hopefully more in that 8 to 10 week range). Although I still don't feel ready, I know next weekend will help with that. I am so looking forward to having our friends and families together for a few hours. The fact that it's a party in little Kayla's honor is just icing on the cake. Here's hoping for nice weather since I couldn't find a cardigan to go over my shower dress!

I don't think we have anything major going on this week, no appointments or anything, so it will be more of the daily grind from here until the weekend again. I am hoping to get down to the shops on Main Street for second Friday so we can check out Spoiled Silly and Madison B for the first time. We need to find a time to get into downtown Lancaster to check out Bellaboo too. Maybe the first weekend in June... I think that's the next time we have a free weekend. Hard to belive how fast the time is going now, and how it's only going to continue to fly.

30W 1D