You know you're a mom when...

I'm sitting at my desk, watching the snow fall and sipping my coffee, trying to figure out what I can twist into one more blog post before 2009 comes to an close.  It suddenly occurs to me that I've had so many of these "mom" moments in the last few days, I figured why not end the year on that note? 

Earlier this week I was standing in line at the bank, I put my hand in my coat pocket.  I can only imagine my face when I encountered something foreign, and uncertain of what it was, produced one of these:

I had to laugh, especially since Kayla hasn't used a Soothie in months.  I guess I don't wear that coat very often. 

Yesterday I got home and saw a box of Amazon on my porch.  I instantly got irrationally excited knowing that inside was one of these:

So I am back on the baby food making train!  Last night I steamed, pureed and froze the remaining carrots and peas from the previous tries.  She's doing really well with fruit though - last night we had pears - so I will keep up with those until they're gone.  But seriously - who gets excited over a baby food mill?  Only a mom. 

Then there are the more general moments.  When you manage to get out of the house with only a little spitup on your shirt and you call it a victory.  When you no longer cringe when you notice "that smell."  When an uninterrupted bubble bath and a glass of wine start to look like a tropical vacation.  When you think you want to send your husband and the baby to the moon just so you can have a break, but you know you'll miss them as soon as they're gone. 

When you notice that she's creeping a little bit, or you get your first pictures of her sitting up all by herself; and you can not wait to tell someone about it.  When the highlight of the day is coming home to someone who is fussy and hungry because you know she needs you.  It's during moments like those- noticing a first or even just coming through the door after work - that the stress just melts away and I feel more like myself than I ever have in my whole life. 

2009 has been an amazing year for Shaun and I, and one I know we will never forget.  Here's wishing everyone a happy and prosperous 2010!

Have Yourself a Merry Little

It's hard to believe our first Christmas as a family has come and gone already.  We had a fantastic time, with minimal stress.  I'm glad Shaun convinced me to not go anywhere on Christmas day.  I feel bad that not everyone got to see us, but this is life with a (nearly) 6 month old.

We started our festivities on Christmas eve with my dad's family.  I look forward to this gathering every year; nothing signals the start of Christmas like cheese fondue and COOKIES.  Kayla was completely spoiled; Shaun and I were as well.  When we got home, it was into our PJ's and we read "The Night Before Christmas" before saying goodnight. 

Christmas morning found us up and unwrapping gifts early.  Kayla pulled each item from her stocking and eyed it before casting it aside for the next one.  She's a great gift unwrapper too, pulling on the paper and putting it straight into her mouth over and over again.  Too sweet.  After all the gifts from Santa were unwrapped, we had breakfast with Shaun's parents.  After the rest of his family came for a visit, we relaxed for a bit and waited for my mom and sister to arrive.  They spent a few hours with us, and my mom got to give Kayla her cereal and a few bites of applesauce. 

**I feel as though I must digress here to tell the applesauce stories.  I can tell that Kayla is loving her solids, although I put veggies on hold while I wait for my baby food mill to arrive.  I picked up some all natural applesauce at the store to try in the mean time.  I tried giving her a few bites but she didn't seem crazy about it.  And by not crazy, I mean she swallowed it and proceeded to have one of those full body shudders accompanied by her best bitter beer face.  She didn't refuse it, but each bite got the same reaction.  So I stopped feeding it to her rather than continue to torture her.  My mom tried it as well, since she still seemed to want more after her cereal, but it got the same reaction, so once again we stopped feeding it to her.  That's the applesauce saga in a nutshell.**

The day after Christmas we went up to visit with Shaun's grandmother at the nursing home.  It was nice to see her and I'm glad she got to meet Kayla.  It was nice to see her smile and be smiled at in return.  We had coffee and cookies and chatted with family we don't see often for a while.  That evening we hosted my dad, stepmom and sister for dinner.  We had munchies and chatted while Kayla napped, and then she woke up and stole the show.  :-)  After checking out her new rocking horse, we strapped her in her high chair so everyone could get a shot at giving her a few spoonfuls of cereal.  After that, I broke out the bannanas for her to try.  Thank Gerber, those got the same initial reaction as applesauce.  I don't think she dislikes the taste though becasue she never once spit any out or refused the spoon.  Eventually she seemed to get used to the texture and the shudders went away. 

Sunday we went to Shaun's parents' house for lunch and a little football watching.  I even caught a short nap on the couch while Kayla played with Grandma. 

I've put a few things away, but somehow our living room still looks like Christmas exploded in it.  We need to find/order a toybox for all of Kayla's stuff.  Or perhaps we'll set the Pack N Play back up and just toss it all in there; we could easily fill it I think.  I'm pleased to report that all of her gifts are a hit though; consider this my preliminary thank you until I can get thank you notes in the mail. 

All in all, we had a wonderful holiday filled with fun, family and love.  Who could ask for more than that?

Snow day!

Although they aren't quite as fun now as they were when I had nothing
to do but play outside, I still love snow days. Today was a great one.
There is just something awesome about being able to shower, put your
PJ's back on and just stay warm and dry. We spent a lot of time on the
floor today; Kayla is really close to pushing up on all fours. Awesome
yet terrifying.

I didn't venture out into the wind and snow today, but I hope to
tomorrow. I want to get some pictures, hopefully of Kayla too since we
didn't get any of what was technically her first snowfall two weeks ago.

For now, I'm going to put her to bed and go downstairs for a mug of
hot buttered rum. Then I plan to get some sleep myself. Goodnight!

Food Pictures

First taste of carrots

First taste of peas:

Hooray for veggies!

Looks like we have a good eater on our hands

So look at me, the girl who was having fits about not wanting to start her baby on solids too early.  Yeah, I did a 180 on that pretty quick.  Cereal time in the evening has been a fun and entertaining addition to our routine.  Every evening we put Kayla in her high chair and give her a sippy cup of water to play with while I get her food ready (she is able to get it in the general vicinity of her mouth now, but I still have to lift it for her to be able to suck any water out of it).  We're up to 1/4 cup of cereal mixed with 2 ounces of breast milk for her evening meal.  Most of the time she happily chows that down without protest.  Rice cereal was a hit, and we transitioned to oatmeal without so much as a funny face. 

So last week I got to thinking about adding a little bit more into her evening feeding, just to see how it would go.  I did a little reading and thinking about what I wanted to try next.  Friday I stopped at the grocery store and grabbed some frozen carrots and peas.  We steamed a few carrot slices and pureed them for her.  As with the first bit of cereal, the initial reaction wasn't very good.  Within a few bites though, we had a smile!  She seems to enjoy carrots so far.  She's gotten a tablespoon or so of them each of the last 4 nights.  Since we didn't have any adverse reactions, I'm thinking of trying the peas starting tonight.  I don't know how that's going to go since they're not quite as sweet as everything else she's been fed so far.  If that goes well, maybe we'll try our first fruit this weekend. 

Hopefully I'll have a little time and energy after the small one goes to bed tonight and I will be able to add some pictures to this post.  If I don't get to it then, this weekend for sure! 

Happy 5 Months!!

Dear Kayla,

Here we are celebrating another month of watching you grow.  I got a little teary eyed this morning looking at you and thinking about how much you've changed.  I hope I can find a way to put it into words. 

This month, we hit a real milestone - starting you on cereal.  That continues to go well every evening, and I can't wait until we can start adding more yummy things into the mix for you.  For the time being, Oatmeal is next.  After that, we will probably introduce a puree to see how you do.  I love feeding you though.  Every time you open your mouth and "ask" for another bite I want to laugh out loud.  It's so cute. 

We also survived your first real illness.  It was so hard to watch you be sick, but I'm glad we got through it since that was the first of many winter bugs to come. 

Now we're in the midst of your first Holiday season.  Thanksgiving was a hit, although a bit of a long day for you.  On Saturday, daddy and I took you up to Elizabeth Farm to cut down your first Christmas tree.  We rode the horse drawn wagon out to the field and walked around in search of the perfect tree.  Most of the time you slept soundly snuggled against my chest in the Bjorn.  you did wake up to look around a bit, seemingly confused as to why 1) it was so cold and 2) there was nothing but trees as far as the eye could see.  You were quiet and calm the entire trip though, and slept a bit more on the way home.  Once we got everything set up in the house, the tree was a new point of interest for you.  Grabbing the branches is so much fun.  The lights make for great staring too!  When you first saw the tree all decorated, you wanted to take it all in, but your eyes kept being drawn up by the bright star on top.  It's really difficult not to get excited about everything while watching you take it all in for the very first time.  I can hardly wait to watch you open your presents Christmas morning. 

You've had a few physical developments too.  You discovered (with a little assistance from daddy) that you are able to grab your feet and roll from side to side while you're on your back.  Now you're twice as squirmy during diaper changes as you used to be.  I think it won't be long before you're able to sit up on your own.  You do great with support - either in the Bumbo or sitting with me on the floor or in my lap.  I've let you go and you teeter there for a moment before slumping over to one side.  We'll keep working on that.  In the last few days, I've noticed you trying much harder to crawl than you have been in the past.  You get your knees up under you and move your legs, but keep your face to the floor.  Then you drop you legs and push your upper body up to look around as if to see if you've gone anywhere.  Although you keep getting closer all the time, I wonder if you might walk before you crawl.  Your legs are really strong, and you are able to balance on them pretty well while holding on to my hands.  I'm excited yet scared for this next phase of your development.

In any case, you are happy and healthy which is all we could ever ask for.  You're growing and learning every day and I love seeing your sweet smile each morning and listening to you breathe softly when I put your into your crib at night.  I always want to remember what it feels like to nuzzle your fuzzy head and breathe in the scent that is my baby girl.  You're my everything sweet angel.  Happy birthday. 

Love Always -

~Mommy

Happy Thanksgiving

This morning Kayla woke to be fed around 3:45. Afterwards, she didn't seem tired, but I laid her back down in her crib and tried to go back to sleep. Even without the monitor, I was able to hear her talking to herself at the other end of the hall.

And even at that hour I couldn't help but think about how I thankful I am for her.

Aaaaaand we're back.

Sorry for not posting lately; I know some were looking for updates.  Last week found both Shaun and Kayla not feeling well.  Kaya woke up last Monday night having coughing fits and crying.  I was able to feed and soothe her, but she obviously wasn't well.  I took her to the doctor on Tuesday and was told she had a virus and it had to run its course.  That didn't seem so bad at the time because she'd been relatively OK besides the cough.  After the appoinment, she developed congestion and by Wednesday she was running a fever.  I stayed home with her as much as humanly possible, burning my remaining PTO in the process. 

I've always heard parents say that it's incredibly hard to stand by when you have a sick child.  Understatment of the year.  I wanted to cry watching her struggle to breathe, listening to her cough until she choked and spit up, rocking her when she struggled to sleep because she cough kept waking her up, feeling how warm her skin was while she was feverish... I would have done ANYTHING to take all of that away from her. 

Thankfully by Saturday morning the fever had broken.  After 24 hours of no Tylenol, I declared that battle won.  She's still struggling with the congestion and the coughing fits are still present though not as violent as they were.  Sleep still isn't coming easy, but it's getting better little by little.  Last night she was only up one time to eat, which was her normal schedule. 

I'm really hoping that having the next 3 days to relax at home with Shaun helps her get better so she's good to go visiting on Thursday.  I'm excited for the long weekend for us to hang out, enjoy good food and maybe even do a little shopping for the munchkin while we are off.  I just have to survive the next 3 days first...

A day off and two firsts...

In case I haven't mentioned it, I love banker's holidays.  We took full advantage of my day off by going for two firsts... to mixed reviews. 

First, I finally remembered to try Kayla's first pair of baby legwarmers on her.  Love.  Love, love love.  They are absolutely adorable, and they make diaper changes a breeze.  Now she can lounge around in a onesie and her legs will stay toasty warm. 

For the second, I need to back up to last week.  At her 4-month checkup, the doctor gave us the green light to start Kayla on rice cereal.  I was a little hesitant since the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends giving baby only breast milk until she's 6 months old, but we figured since the doctor said it was OK that we would go for it.  So tonight we finally put her in her high chair for the first time.  I gave her a sippy cup with some water in it to help her get used to that while I warmed the milk for the cereal.  I showed her how that worked but she still doesn't quite have enough control to do it on her own yet. 

Then we got to the good stuff.  As you can see, the initial reaction was not exactly favorable. 

After a few spoonfuls, the attitude changed though.  She got the hang of opening her mouth for the spoon and letting me pour little bits of cereal/breast milk soup into her mouth.  As expected, more of the cereal made its way down her chin than down her throat.  It was still good practice though and I look forward to making this a regular part of our evening routine. 

What a difference a year makes...

November 9,  2008

November 9, 2009

Wow. 

Happy 4 Months!

Dear Kayla,

It's hard for me to express how amazing this last month has been.  There have been so many changes, and you're learning and doing so much.  I thought you had personality before!  Now I am really starting to see who you are. 

You're now rolling from your back to your belly and back again.  I love the way you look up and grin when you're on your tummy playing.  We've seen you start to take a real interest in your toys; figuring out how to grab things and make them make as much noise as possible on their way to your mouth is such fun! 

I can tell you are seeing better, because when you wake up in your swing, you smile at us from across the room.  You also seem to recognize our voices, smiling without even seeing us most of the time.  You still really love bath time, and tonight you splashed with your little feet for the first time and seemed to get a great amount of joy out of that. 

I hope someday you will understand how much your daddy and I love you.  I look at you with awe and love and pride every moment.  It still takes my breath away to realize how much you mean to me, and I still have to pinch myself sometimes to know that this really is happening - you really are the little girl I've dreamed of having for so long.  You're really here and you're ours.  I am so lucky that you chose me to be your mommy.  I love you, little angel. 

Love always -

Mommy

Happy Halloween!

How little miss Kayla spent the better part of her first Trick or Treat night:

While her cousins were out gathering candy:

When she woke up, she was less than thrilled about being put in a penguin suit, but indulged us anyway. 

Although it didn't exactly go as we'd hoped (a late/short nap, an epic meltdown, a rushed feeding in the middle of it all) we still enjoyed her first ToT night, and look forward to walking around with the gang next year.  I'm already plotting the next adorable costume for her; I really enjoy the fact that until she's a little older, I get to choose.  ;-)

Rolling over! And over, and over...

Last night I got to see Kayla roll from her back to her belly and then right over onto her back again!  She rolled two or three times across the living room floor until the recliner got in her way.  Now I know the secret is to put her right on the carpet instead of on her blanket.  I guess I need to run the vacuum when I get home, just to be sure it's extra clean!  I'll try to get a video of it tonight when I get home. 

Can't wait for tonight!

Go Phillies! 

For some extra phun, check out the hilarious shirts at Birdland. 

My right wrist/hand

Has gone from numb to in excruciating pain.  But it's done now.  I got the cortisone shot, and by the end of the week, I hope to have two wrists that are as good as new!

Growing into things

It's truly amazing how fast these little ones grow.  We tried putting Kayla in her jumperoo for the first time last week.  She's still a little small for it, but she really lit up when she saw the array of bright colors and fun things to play with.  Hopefully as her neck gets a little stronger, she will be able to spend more time in it. 

She's rolling like crazy now too!  She rolled from her back to her belly for the first time last Saturday, and all of a sudden on Friday she decided it was something she wanted to try again.  And again and again.  She rolls over and then lifts her head up to look for our approval.  It's too cute. 

It's amazing how much she will still do even with a completely stuffed up head.  We were set to go visit Adam, Kristen, Trevor and Addison last week, until Kayla's cold ramped up again.  I really don't want to pass that on to Addison, so we opted to stay home.  We did go over to Matt's place for football on Saturday, and she was really pleasant all day despite only two short naps. 

Each day is more and more fun for us; I am so looking forward to putting her in her Halloween costume on Friday!  Here's hoping she holds up OK for a walk around the neighborhood and that it's not too cold!

Holy crap!

I was so wrapped up in my wrist issues, I totally forgot to mention...

Kayla rolled over!

On Saturday, she rolled from her back to her belly for the first time!  She seemed quite shocked and unsure how she got that way, but she immediately started rocking to one side to try to get back over.  Despite our pleas and coaxing, she hasn't done it again, but I'm sure it won't be long before she does.  Time to start really baby proofing... Eek! 

This may take a while.

Let's time how long it takes me to post this.

I'm typing pretty slowly today on account of my wrists.  I've got this hybrid typing/hunt and peck thing going on right now.  The soft splint on the left wrist makes it a little difficult to type, and the pain in my right wrist had slowed me down a bit too.  At least I know relief is in sight.  My left wrist was feeling about 90% as of yesterday.  I try to be good and leave the splint on as much as possible; I take it off any time it might get dirty or wet (cooking and doing dishes, showering) and when changing or feeding Kayla (mostly for the sake of speed) but leave it on the rest of the day/night.  What a difference!  I am actually looking forward to getting the coritsone shot in my right wrist now.  The pain still comes and goes a bit, but it's pretty strong a lot of the time.  The only thing that worries me is how I will/won't be able to handle a computer mouse with my right hand in one of these:

I guess I'll figure that out when the time comes.  As of now, my next shot is scheduled for a week from today.  Hopefully the left side is feeling good enough to give it regular breaks from the splint so I have at least one functional hand at all times. 

(And 13 minutes later... publishing this one!)

The D40 Rocks. That is all.

<3

New Blog Design and an Update on Me

Please do not adjust your monitor.  Your eyes are not deceiving you.  Things are looking a bit different around here today... I am working on a blog redesign now.  I'm not sure if I want to pull a premade template from somewere or if I actually want to attempt my own header, etc.  I don't have a whole lot of time to put into this either, so we'll see how long it sits here with a standard Blogger template before I get around to doing something with it.  ;-)

So about 3 weeks ago, I started to notice a pain in my right wrist that went up my arm a couple of inches.  I didn't think too much of it at first; maybe I strained something.  No big deal.  So I went about my  normal (ha!) life and tried to ignore it.  Within a week, the pain was nearly unbearable, and I was starting to notice tenderness in my left wrist as well.  So off to the doctor I went.  I was seen by the office nurse practitioner, who determined that it was not carpal tunnel and instructed me to take 3 ibuprofen 3 times a day for 10 - 14 days and see what happened.  By the two week mark, my right wrist was no better and the left was worse than the right had ever been.  So back to the doctor I went, but this time I was prepared. 

Thanks to a message board friend, I was armed with information about DeQuervain's Syndrome (also known as "washerwoman's sprain" or "mother's wrist") when I went to this appointment.  I discussed the pain I'd been feeling with the doctor, and he said he thinks I "nailed it" with my self diagnosis.  He said it is really unusual to see it develop in both wrists at the same time (so that makes me really lucky right?) but it was the most likely culprit for my pain. 

Unfortunately, the initial treatment for this is cortisone shots and a stint in a soft splint that immobilizes my wrist and thumb.  This means the doc couldn't treat both wrists at once.  We elected to start with my left wrist since it was giving me the most pain, and revisit the right wrist in 10 - 14 days if I feel like the shot helped.  The shot itself wasn't bad, and actually numbed things for a bit.  I could use my hand normally again all of a sudden.  Sweet!  Or not. 

By the time I got home from work, the numbness had worn off and pain took its place.  It was even worse than it had been before.  Even now, closing my hand is near impossible.  Picking up Kayla is excruciating.  Holding a pen in my left hand to write?  Not a chance.  I really hope the soft splint I need shows up at the pharmacy today.  I'm sure the amount of stuff I'm trying to do despite the pain isn't helping my cause any.   I'm so looking forward to this weekend and being able to rest it a bit and let the shot take effect... I'll report back on how that works after the weekend. 

PS - I promise I'm not holding out on you in the picture arena.  I'm still waiting on my new memory cards to arrive so I can actually save the pictures I take.  I have been playing with the camera though and I am absolutely loving it!  I can't wait to put it to real use!

We love long weekends!

One thing I will surely miss if I ever leave banking will be the awesome random holidays we get paid for.  Thanks to Monday being Columbus Day, we got to stay home with Kayla for her first teacher inservice day at daycare.  But I am getting ahead of myself...


This weekend's adventure began on Thursday when I got a call from daycare saying that Kayla had spiked a fever of 99.7 earlier in the day.  I picked her up a little early so I could take her to the doctor, but her fever had already broken by that point.  Her temperature was normal at the doc's office, but he prescribed an antibiotic anyway because of her persistent congestion.  So far it doesn't seem to be helping much, but we're only through about half the bottle. 


Friday was a typical day.  Shaun worked early and came home in time for me to head out and come in.  Kayla was fine all day with him if not a little more tired than usual.  She was great for Pepere and Grammy Sue's visit in the evening.  After that, we packed up and went down to the hospital to met Addison for the first time.  What a teeny little cutie!  She barely made a peep the whole time we were there, until Kayla woke up and started crying... but most of the time she looked something like this:

She is so incredibly tiny - Kayla was born nearly a pound heavier, and she seemed itty bitty at the time!  I can't wait for them to be able to play together! 

We designated Saturday as our running all over creation day.  We got up early (when Kayla woke up that is - I think around 6:30 or 7?) and stopped for coffee treats and then made our way to Walmart, BJ's, Babies R Us and the grocery store.  We managed to get home at a reasonable time and just sat and watched football most of the day while I cleaned and did laundry.  Sunday was more football watching, and a lot of cooking.  My mom stopped up for her visit with Kayla too.  Kayla LOVES it when she visits - I think my mom gets more smiles than even I do! 

Then Monday came.  So nice not to have to go in to work!  I was feeling pretty wiped out, so I "encouraged" Kayla to go back to sleep after her morning feeding.  When she continued to fuss in her crib, I took a different tactic and brought her over into bed with us.  Lucky for me, she snuggled right into me and went back to sleep.  I got to sleep in for the first time in ages!  What a great morning.  We did some shopping, trying to find new Christmas stockings for the family, but had no luck.  Not even at the Flower and Craft Warehouse!  Maybe once the Halloween stuff goes away there will be more out.  In the mean time, I'll look around online and see what I can find. 

Today I am especially anxious to get home to my new toy!  I finally broke down and ordered my Nikon D40 last week and it's scheduled to be delivered today.  It was expensive, but I'm really excited to be able to capture some of the moments I may have missed with our old camera.  I'll be sure to post results of that soon! 

Congratulations Adam and Kristen!

It's hard to believe it was back in March that we found out that Adam and Kristen were expecting their first baby together... today they welcomed Addison Elizabeth to their family! She was born at 11:14 am, 6 lbs 3 oz and 19 1/2 inches long. I hear that she and Kristen came through the c-section just fine and are doing well! Congrats to Mommy and Daddy and big brother Trevor! We can't wait to meet the little peanut!


PS - Kristen, if you read this still... so much for your "little tank!" My delicate little flower outweighs yours by more than double! Too funny. ;-)

3 Month Pictures and Stats

I've updated the Photobucket Account with a few pictures I took of Kayla yesterday, and her three month photos taken by the Picture People are here. The pink sweater and hat were knitted by my mom. We chose the Phillies t-shirt because the Phils started their run at another world series yesterday with a 5 - 1 win over the Rockies. Go Phillies!!

Kayla is now checking in at a healthy 12 pounds 11 ounces and 23 1/4 inches long. She's growing so fast!

Happy 3 Months!!

Dear Kayla -

The picture you see here was a result of mommy getting over zealous this morning. It was very cold when I took you to daycare yesterday morning (about 40 degrees) so I put this obviously too large sweatshirt on you this morning to help keep you warm. As it would turn out, it wasn't as cold as I'd thought. At least it made for some adorable pictures.

This month was a lot of fun for us. You've gotten much better at lifting your head and we were able to put you in your bumbo seat for some fun. You like to push toys around on the tray and knock them on the floor. So cool! You've really started to use your hands a lot more. You shake and grab at toys so they make noise. You love to bat at the duckie toy on your carrier, and to shake your keys around. Your play mat still entertains you, but you are loving to sit up more too.

You are such a happy little baby; I love picking you up out of your crib each morning. No matter how fussy you are when I open the door to your room, you always smile as soon as you realize I'm there. It's the greatest thing in the world.

The ladies at daycare just adore you. It's still hard to leave you there every day, but I am getting better with it. I have been finding excuses to "drop in" and see how you're doing as often as I can even though driving away the second time is often harder than the first.

As before I am finding myself being torn between absolutely adoring the baby that you are right now, and looking forward to who you are going to be in the future. What I do know for sure is that I am even more crazy about you now than I was the day I brought you home. You are my little angel, and I love you more than you will ever know.
Love always -
Mommy

Who knew that sad could be so adorable?

Bonus pic... Kayla and my grandmother. how sweet is that?

It's official

Cold season is already in full swing, and it's hit our house. I thought being sick when I was pregnant was bad - this is even worse, since now I can (and have) actually pass it on to the little one. Kayla is taking it pretty well. We kept her home from daycare today in order to help avoid spreading it, but I think she'll be ok to go back tomorrow. She was smiling and happy when I went home for lunch, once she woke up from her swing nap. Hopefully she'll sleep well again tonight and will be breathing easier tomorrow.

Nice reminder that I need to call the doctor's office about getting my flu shots huh? For the first time ever, I am going to actually get a seasonal flu shot. I'm also planning to get the H1N1 shot when it becomes available. Not my idea of fun, and I'm REALLY hoping it doesn't backfire and make me sick. I will not be happy.

Other than that, not much is happening at our casa these days. We're just spending lots of time together as a family whenever we aren't at work, and enjoying watching her grow. I haven't taken many new pictures lately, but I will update the photobucket again soon! She smiles a lot now and is really close to laughing out loud. Sunday morning I was brushing my teeth when I heard her let out a loud shriek from our bed. Shaun was playing with her and apparently had her really close to laughing. I love every sound she makes, even when she's crying. Yesterday she had several fits over the course of the day (probably because she wasn't feeling well) and for the first time, I realized I wasn't upset or stressed out when she cried. I was just happy I was there; happy to be the one holding her and trying to comfort her. I'm sure the solid nights of sleep I have been getting help, but I also like to think that I'm really settling into this mommy role. It still breaks my heart that I can't be with her all the time, but I love the moments we do have together that much more. This little girl has changed my life in every conceivable way, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Another milestone this weekend

I'm happy to announce that on Saturday night, my little angel slept from 10 pm until 6 am! Our first 8-hour night! She didn't even stir when I had to take her out of her crib at 11:30. What a trooper. (Of course, she didn't nap much while we hung out with our friends this weekend, so I think that's why she slept so well.)

Today starts the 3rd week back at work... I was a mess leaving her at daycare this morning; it seems the weekend set me back a bit. Hopefully it will get better again even though I don't think I'll ever really be used to it. I still miss her every second we're not together, so much that it almost hurts. I hope I can get my new project at work under way soon so I don't have as much time to sit here and think about all the time I'm missing with her. Man this sucks...

Happy Two Months!

Dear Kayla,

I promised myself that this was something I was going to do for you every month, but somehow

your one month got by me. For that I apologize.

I can hardly believe you are two months old today. You are such an amazing little creature, and every day I look at you with wonder and awe. You've been sleeping well for being so young yet, only waking once a night to be fed. I know it seems silly, but I really appreciate that. You are so beautiful; you smile a lot now and it's just the sweetest thing. Today was the first time I was able to catch your smile on camera... the picture above. You also try to laugh - you open your mouth really wide and sometimes a gurgle or a loud "ah!" escapes, but you haven't quite figured out how to make a laughing sound yet. It cracks me up every single time. You are definitely vocal though, cooing and "talking" to your light up sun on your play mat, and if I'm lucky, occasionally to me as well.

In the last week or so, you've really discovered your hands. For the last few days they have been in your mouth almost non stop. Last night you stared at your fists, not quite sure where they came from, and even sucked your thumb for the first time. I don't know if it will stick though - you still prefer your Soothie for comfort sucking.

Tummy time is still a little bit of a challenge. You seem to enjoy the new view for the first few minutes but quickly grow weary of not being able to see the world as you're used to it. The new Boppy tummy time mat seems to help that some, but it extends our floor time to maybe 10 minutes at a shot rather than 5 or less. I enjoy watching you lift your head for brief periods and smile at me. I love seeing your happy little face no matter what.

Last week brought the challenge of me returning to work. Although you and daddy did just fine without me, I had a really difficult time walking out the door that first morning. I went to take you from your crib to the bed so you were closer to daddy, and you were happily playing in your crib by yourself until you looked up and saw me. You got the saddest look on your face and let out a little cry. It nearly brought me to my knees right there. I missed you more than I could ever express. I'm afraid that dropping you off at daycare for the first time tomorrow is going to be even harder.

You had your two month doctor appointment last week; you weighed in at 11 lbs 4 oz and are now 22 1/2 inches long. You've grown so much. Daddy says you took your shots pretty well too. You were so unhappy when I came home and I felt terrible for you. I know it's to keep you healthy though, and I'm just glad I wasn't there to hear you cry when you got them.

So much has happened and changed in just a few short weeks, and I can only begin to imagine the changes that are to come on the coming days, weeks, months and years. I do know that I look forward to seeing you continue to grow and develop and to be the sweet little lady I know you're going to be. I love you so much Kayla Anne and I always will.

Love,

Mommy

8 weeks!?!?!

Yeah, I'm a slacker. Sorry to the 3 of you who read this. :-) We've been so busy I've hardly given blogging a thought. I was also totally determined and committed to spending every possible moment with my little sweetheart before coming back to work, so sitting down at the computer usually meant running our numbers in Quicken, maybe entering some Pampers points in their website, and getting back to being a mom.

Kayla is an absolute joy of a baby. I know every parent says this, but she really is. Besides her normal bouts of bedtime fussiness, she is generally a very happy baby. She smiles all the time now and it just melts me every time. We love to go for walks in the evening now that it’s cooler out. Kayla seems to enjoy the time in her stroller, even if she does just spend most of it staring at the little pink snail toy hanging from the handle of her carrier (thanks Laura, she really loves that thing!).

My 6-week postpartum appointment went well. I am feeling really good and starting to think I look more like myself again. Even though I have a bit more weight to lose, I can deal with it now. Kayla’s next doctor appointment is on Friday, so I will have updated stats on her then. She was over 9 pounds the last time she was weighed, and I’m thinking she’s well over 10 now. I can’t wait to hear how much she’s grown!

Leaving her to go to work this morning was extraordinarily tough. This is the first time in months and months that I’ve been away from her for this long, and it’s killing me. I’ve spent the better part of my day fighting back the tears, especially when someone wants to hear about her, or asks me how I’m dealing with my return. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but I never thought it was going to be this hard. Somehow though, we'll make it. Hopefully I'm somewhat used to it by next Tuesday so dropping her off at daycare for the first time won't be so hard.

Belated Updates

So here we are swiftly closing in on Kayla's one month birthday. The last few weeks have been amazing, overwhelming, sometimes trying, but on the whole wonderful. We absolutely adore this little girl. She has taken over our lives and turned our world upside down, but we wouldn't have it any other way.

As of her doctor appointment last Tuesday (7/28) Kayla was 8 pounds, 7 ounces and 21 inches long. She is growing like a weed; I go back and forth between being proud to be doing everything we can that she is thriving so well and being sad that she is growing so quickly. I'm sure it's only going to continue to fly faster and faster from here.

For the most part Kayla has been sleeping pretty well, sleeping from 4 - 6 hours at night. She's had a little bit of colic in the last week or so, but nothing completely unmanagable. We are very lucky in that she travels exceptionally well, often sleeping through outings of several hours. This allows me to get out of the house during the day when I need to... allowing me to keep some small measure of my sanity.

It's amazing to watch her become more aware of the world each day. She lays on her activity mat and plays. She looks at us when we talk to her. She smiles at me when I tease her about her insanely full diapers. I love watching her move her little arms and legs and her ever-changing facial expressions. We had our first tub bath experience this week. Kayla did really well. I was expecting a scream fest, but only got some confused looks. Even when the camera started flashing, she didn't fuss. I was really glad for that.

On the whole, I am feeling good. My recovery went much more smoothly than I ever thought it would. I drove myself to an appoinment only 1 week post partum. Shaun and I redid our master walk-in closet during his second week off, about the same time. I really can't complain. I have lost about half of my pregnancy weight so far. Not too shabby considering the chocolate chip cookie habit I've developed as of late. Although I'm still wearing my maternity clothes almost exclusively, I'm noticing they are starting to feel a bit large. Here's hoping I can pack all of those up for good soon.

In the mean time I am going to continue to enjoy my days at home with my little sweetheart, and try my hardest not to dwell on how much I am dreading September 1st when I return to work, and even more so, the 8th when I take her to daycare for the first time. :-( Thankfully we still have a month to go...

Keep an eye on the photobucket account for updates - I am much better about that than I am about updating here. Also, check out our Picture People Album. The pictures from Kayla's newborn session (done when she was 2 weeks old) are there. Until next time... when I'll most likely be posting 1 month pictures!

First Week

I know that I'm a little behind in updating, but I have been very busy! Between caring for a newborn and all the things we've been doing around the house, there is rarely a quiet moment here.

Our first week has gone very well, but hasn't been without challenges. Kayla is an absolute joy of a baby and I feel so lucky to have her. She has been sleeping as long as 4 or even close to 5 hours at a stretch at night, which is unbelievable to me. We had some challenges on the breastfeeding front, but a visit with a lactation consultant at the hospital proved very helpful in that arena.

When we left the hospital on Thursday the 9th, Kayla weighed in at 6 pounds 11 ounces. At her first doctors appointment on the 10th, she was down to 6 pounds 8 ounces. After a stressful weekend that included supplementing with some formula, she was back up to 6 pounds 13 ounces on Monday. At the hospital on Tuesday, she checked in at 6 pounds 15 ounces. Her next appointment is on the 21st, and I'm anxious to see how she did over the last week.

We have been having lots of fun. Since our little one travels so well, we have been able to take her anywhere we need to go. We've even put her in the stroller for a nice walk to Grecco's for ice cream when Nana Kim came to visit on Sunday, and over to Aunt Dena's house on Wednesday. We have quite the little adventurer on our hands.

I am starting to get nervous about Shaun returning to work on Monday; it's going to be difficult not having that second set of hands around just in case. I am looking forward to having time with her and I'm looking forward to Aunt Paula's first visit with us too. It's still a bit unnerving to think about being totally on my own. Here's hoping that it all goes well!

Pics!

I've been updating my photobucket albums, but never actually posted pics here... So here's a selection, and the rest are found in the birth pictures and first week pictures albums.

In the warmer, just an hour old:

Waiting to go home:

Napping in the pack and play bassinet:

Wide awake and just a week old:

Our Birth Story

After a slightly disappointing report at my 39 week appointment, I didn't have very high hopes for a speedy arrival for our little girl. Yet, 3 am on Tuesday found me wide awake having an exceptionally painful contraction. I didn't think much of it at first, until another one started just a few minutes after the first one ended. I grabbed my iPod and started timing the waves of pain; they were still irregular but definitely not getting any easier to breathe through. At about a minute and a half each and 6 to 8 minutes apart, they were much the same as what I had been feeling the day before, just stronger.

I didn't want to get excited, but when my shuffling woke Shaun up, I explained what was going on. Since we figured that this meant she could come any time, he actually got up and went to work around 4 am. I got up and showered with the intention of going in early also. At that point I decided that the pain was too much and I would have been useless at my desk and called in to my boss. After eating a little fruit salad I camped myself out on the couch with a movie on to try to distract myself from the contractions. When that didn't work (I didn't think there was a problem that Robert Pattinson couldn't get me through but I guess I was wrong) I tried a warm bath. That helped a lot, but I found myself falling asleep in the tub and missing the contraction timing. I went back to my movie, and then watched some episodes of "Bringing Home Baby" and "A Baby Story" on TLC. Around 9:30 I decided I couldn't take any more and attempted to reach my nurse at the OB's office. She was on vacation so I spoke with another nurse... I figured I had a long way to go, and really wanted to get some sleep, so I was hoping she could suggest something (ANYTHING) I could take to knock myself out so I could rest. Even though my contractions were still more than 5 minutes apart and I hadn't shown major signs of progressing at all the night before, the nurse decided (after hearing me breathe through one contraction) that I should come in for a labor check. I let Shaun know to come home and got busy gathering all the last minute things we would need for our hospital stay. Even though I was certain we'd be sent home for the time being, I wanted to get everything together in hopes we'd need it all soon.

We got to the doctor’s office a little later than my appointment time, and sat in the waiting room FOREVER. All the while I was noticing that the contractions were getting closer together. By the time we finally got back to see the doctor, they were about 3 to 4 minutes apart and coming on strong. When Dr. Tedeschi checked me, I was amazed to hear that I was 5 centimeters dilated and going to be admitted to labor and delivery!

A little after noon, we were getting settled into our room and waiting for the midwife and anesthesiologist to come in. Marilyn checked and found me to have dilated another centimeter and made the decision to break my water. This was when they discovered that there was meconium in my fluid. Kayla had already had her first bowel movement, and so would need a little special attention upon her arrival. This eliminated the possibility of skin to skin contact right after delivery, which made me sad. I wanted her to be healthy no matter what though.

By 1:00, I was getting my epidural and preparing myself to settle in for delivery. I waited anxiously for the medicine to take effect (after Marilyn broke my water, the contractions quadrupled in intensity. I no longer questioned my decision to get an epidural at that point) and hoped that being able to relax would allow things to continue progressing. Unfortunately, it only slowed things down. My contractions spaced and Kayla's heart rate started to dip regularly. They wouldn't give me Pitocin because they didn't want to stress her out any more than needed until her pulse stabilized. An internal monitor was put in place so they could more accurately watch her heart rate. I lay in bed flipping channels incessantly, although the only thing on EVERY SINGLE CHANNEL was the Michael Jackson memorial service. Hours later there was still no change. I switched sides several times and breathed some oxygen to help her out. At least 3 nurses were in and out, pouring over the printouts of my contractions and Kayla’s heart rate, and discussing what to do. I was starting to feel a really bad headache coming on. I hadn’t eaten anything except a popsicle (which didn’t stay in my stomach long) since that fruit salad at 6:30 am. Initially a nurse said she’d bring me some broth. A few minutes later, she returned saying that they were going to hold off on that. It was then that I started to panic. I was certain they weren’t letting me have anything because a c-section was imminent and I was about to be wheeled to the OR any second.

While the nurses and midwife continued to discuss options, the epidural started to wear off. I began to feel the contractions in my right side again, and I suddenly became aware that I felt like I needed to push. A quick check revealed that I was complete and ready to start pushing. That was the last news I got from Marilyn. The midwives changed shifts and Claire came in to check up on me. A little after 8 pm I started working to bring my little girl into the world.

At 9:10 PM, Kayla Anne was born and quickly tended to by a NICU doctor. They had warned me that she might not cry right away - I held my breath until I heard that wonderful sound; she was alive and well. They cleared her airways, wrapped her in a blanket and then brought her to me. I honestly believe that she is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life. At 7 pounds 2 ounces and 19 3/4 inches long, she was so tiny and delicate. I was absolutely in love.

Although we still have a long way to go towards establishing our routines and getting her day/night straight, we are so thrilled to have our little angel at home. I don't know how I ever lived without her.

She's here!!

Kayla Anne entered the world on 7/7/09 at 9:10 pm. She weighs 7 lbs 2
oz and is 19 3/4 inches long. She is absolutely beautiful. I will
update with pics and my full birth story when I am able.

For posterity so I can remove from my sidebar... my pregnancy dates and milestones:

11/09/08 - Is that two pink lines? Does that digital really say "pregnant"?
11/11/08 - Confirmation appointment. EDD of 7/11/09.
12/17/08 - 10W4D. First US, baby looks great; HB 167. Midwife appointment. +8 lbs
1/14/09 - 14W4D. Midwife appointment. +15 lbs. Baby's HB 155.
1/30/2009 - First quickening felt!
2/11/09 - 18W4D. Midwife appointment. +22 lbs. Baby's HB 140's.
2/25/09 - BIG ulrasound! IT'S A GIRL! Baby's HB 145, weight approx. 14 ounces. Appears to be healthy.
3/11/2009 - 22W4D. Midwife appt. +31 pounds. U/S results of a perfectly healthy baby confirmed. Kayla's HB 144.
04/06/09 - 26W2D. Midwife appt + bloodwork. +37 pounds; Kayla's HB 130.
04/27/09 - 29W2D. Midwife appointment. +39 pounds. Kayla's HB 140. All bloodwork normal - I passed my glucose tolerance test!
5/11/09 - 31W2D. CNS Appointment turned midwife appointment. +40 pounds. Kayla's HB 140.
5/27/09 - 33W4D. Midwife appointment. +44 pounds. Kayla's HB 130's.
6/08/09 - 35W2D. Midwife appointment. +46 pounds. Kayla's HB 145. GBS test.
6/15/09 - 36W2D. Midwife appointment. +46 pounds still. Kayla's HB 130's. GBS negative.
6/22/09 - 37W2D. Midwife appointment. +48 pounds. Kayla's HB 144.
6/29/09 - 38W2D. Midwife appointment. +50 pounds. Kayla's HB 124.
7/06/09 - Midwife appointment. +50 pounds. Kayla's HB 130's. 1 cm dilated, 70% effaced.
7/07/09 - Kayla Anne Born at 9:10 PM!

Not as much progress as I'd hoped

Well, another good appointment. No weight gain, blood pressure was
high, but they didn't seem too bothered by it, Kayla's heartbeat was
steady at 130.

Unfortunately, despite the contractions I was feeling today, I am only
1 cm dilated and 70% effaced. I'm just hoping for a bit more progress
over the next couple of days. We will see.

Another week down...

Wow. I can not believe the 4th of July has come and gone already. Seriously, I keep staring at the date on my computer and thinking it can't possibly be right. Then I look down at my uneven and lumpy belly and realize that it has to be right. I can't possibly get any bigger. Seriously - I can't. Almost none of my shirts cover the bottom of my stomach any more. It's insane.

We did a lot around the house again this weekend; I think the nesting urges have us both in their grips. After a relaxing day with our friends on Saturday, we spent Sunday cleaning out our bedroom, including the walk in closet. We took three MASSIVE boxes of clothing to the Salvation Army... we also stopped at WalMart and got enough plastic storage bins to organize not only our room, but most of the basement as well. It felt great to get so much accomplished, but my back was absolutely shot after so many trips up and down the stairs and up and down off the floor in whatever room we were working on.

After all of that, Kayla picked last night to give me a little scare. We were laying in bed watching TV when I realized I hadn't felt her move since dinner. Trying to keep the initial wave of panic at bay, I went downstairs and ate a little sugary fruit salad. That seemed to perk her up just enough that I knew she was OK, and then she got the hiccups. *whew* She seems to be much quieter and more still on the whole the last couple of days, but even with that in mind, I still worry when I don't feel anything coming from her.

I'm starting to feel hopeful that this might not last very much longer. I've started to get some more intense and borderline painful contractions now. I can still talk through them and I'm not ready to punch anyone yet, but each one does make me stop and take a few deep breaths. I know that the second I post this entry they'll probably stop completely for the next week or more and I will look like a complete idiot. Oh well. We'll see what the midwife's input is at my appointment tonight. I'm thinking 7/7 would be a good birthday... so any time now Miss Kayla, we're anxiously waiting!

39W 2D

Baking is a nesting urge, right?

Last night I made a delicious coffee cake, so I wanted to send a big thanks to t.bird from the Nest for the recipe! I wish I had taken a pic of it before I started cutting of ginormous hunks of it for Shaun and I to eat, but the picture on her blog gives you the idea. The only change I made was to use half chocolate chips (milk chocolate flavor) and half Hershey's cinnamon flavored chips. Yum! Check out this recipe and some of T's others on her food blog here! (And yes, I did make the maple glaze she suggests, and it's fantastic!)

The imbibing of copious amounts of Raspberry Leaf tea has also commenced. The contractions are starting to get a bit more intense, but they're still really irregular. I'm not holding out hope that she'll arrive early, but I suppose stranger things have happened. She has slowed down quite a bit in the last couple of days... it took a bag of M&M's to get her moving last night. I'm hoping that's a good sign. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

38W 6D

8 days until D Day...

Appointment Update 6/29 Edition

Sorry for not writing yesterday, there really isn't much else to say at the moment. Same complaints, same attempts to talk myself out of being anxious...

Last night's appointment went pretty well. My BP was high on the first reading (funny pattern I've noticed - my BP is out of whack when I go to my appointments by myself) but fine in the exam room. I have hit the +50 pounds mark. Ugh. I'm feeling more and more contractions; nothing too painful yet but there are definitely moments of discomfort. Hopefully I still have a little more time. I know there are things that Shaun needs to accomplish at work and we want to accomplish at home before she arrives.

Anyway, baby watch 2k9 is now officially in effect. I'll keep everyone updated as much as possible in the coming days!

38W 3D

11 days and counting.

Nursery Update in Pictures

The writing on the wall...

A couple of my maternity pictures in her room.

Updated belly shots are now also posted on the photobucket site!

Appointment Update 6/22 Edition

The nurse at May-Grant actually managed to catch my blood pressure at a reasonable level (115/74) with the machine the first time around this week! Yay! I'm up another 2 pounds, but everything is looking good. Kayla is still head down (under threat of being grounded for life if she flips and goes breech on me now) and the midwife felt as though she is sitting reasonably low even though it doesn't feel that way to me. Her HB is 144, so right in the same range as it's been.

I figured I'd doomed myself to going into labor this week since we have tickets to see Les Mis at the Fulton on Saturday; I know there's quite a bit of week left and still a chance, but I'm not counting on it. (But just in case, Dad and Sue - I hope you're on standby! I am going to call the box office and see if I can leave the tickets for someone else if need be...)

So I'm still just trudging along. Counting the days now... Cross your fingers for me.

37W 3D

18 days left.

In case I haven't already made it clear

This child is going to get an eviction notice. SOON. Since reaching that magical "full term" mark on Saturday, I feel it is now my duty to see that she makes her entrance into the world ASAP. Never mind the fact that she still hasn't really dropped or anything. I'm still not feeling a whole lot as far as contractions go either. Everything in it's own time indeed...

I wish I had anything else to report, but not much has been happening. I noticed I am starting to swell up a bit; nothing getting off my feet doesn't help though. I really don't think I can complain that it took till now for that to start. Perhaps after my appointment tonight... we'll see what they say this week!

37W 2D

Appointment Update 6/15 Edition

Not much to report again - BP was high again until they put me on my left side and had me rest for a few minutes. Very strange. Kayla's heart beat was strong in the 130's again, and for the first time ever between two apointments - I DIDN'T GAIN ANY WEIGHT!!! My Group B Strep tests came back negative, so no antibiotics for me when I go into labor. All is well, just waiting for the little bugger to drop and stop hurting me so much.

OH - and last night also brought another valuable lesson - don't overeat, especially too close to bedtime. The results will not be pleasant. No more food after 8 PM for me now.

Still counting down... 25 days...


36W 3D

Am I weird? or Ack! My first "am I a bad mom?" crisis.

So lately a topic of conversation I've noticed a lot between new moms/upcoming moms to be is the question of how soon is too soon to have baby out in a crowd, or at what point it's ok to allow "other people" to hold her. All of a sudden I feel as though I've done Kayla a disservice by not considering this question. I know that our first few days, maybe even a week or two will be spent largely at home sleeping, nursing, and just getting to know each other. That's totally understandable. But two weeks after my due date, we are slated to attend my cousin Catherine's wedding. It never occurred to me that maybe that was too soon to have her around such a large gathering of people.

Obviously if she would be born more than a few days beyond her due date, I may not be feeling up to attending the wedding after all... and I am not going to push things beyond what I feel like I am capable of doing. Obviously I will do my best to make the ceremony either way, but if the reception seems like too much, we may just go home. But that is me. What about her? Logically, I feel like she will most likely snooze through most of the occasion, if not the entire thing. Is it so crazy to think that it's not that big of a deal to take her?

In any case, we hit the 36 week mark on Saturday. Wow. I can't believe there's less than a month to go. My awesome mom came out to visit me Saturday afternoon and brought the baby monitor that she bought for us. So handy! Thanks to Shaun I know that the receiver unit works great, as does the paging feature. Thanks mom, we love it! We also got to meet my sister in law's new chocolate lab puppy on Saturday afternoon. She's just too adorable! My sister came out to visit after that - it was a busy Saturday for me. Poor Shaun spent a lot of it at work, and then napping since he was up at 4 am.

My next midwife appointment is tonight, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hoping for some surprising news to come out of that. I'm not hopeful, being as Kayla is still riding high enough to stick her little toes in my ribs. I have been feeling some contractions though, a few more painful than others. At least that helps make it seem as though something is happening while I'm just sitting here going crazy.

I'll update again after tonight's appointment; cross your fingers for no blood pressure scares this time! I'm not too worried, since as Tiffany pointed out last week, I still have ankle bones, and my feet look normal, so I must be doing something right!

36W 2D